May 15, 2009

A sobering moment of acceptance

Part of what made Cristina so attractive to me years ago was her intellectual drive. She's always held academics in the highest regard because of her father, a distinguished professor in medicine, and I think that kind of respect is why she ultimately fell for me. ;)

Long before Bertrand was born, we imagined how smart our children would be, or at least how smart we could help them to be. I used to joke that I would be a very liberal parent, in that I didn't care in which field Bertrand earned his Ph.D.

So eager to see him one day reach his intellectual potential, we opened two college savings accounts (a 529 and an ESA) for him less than a month after he was born, and we've been making the maximum monthly contributions ever since.

Naturally, we'll never give up on Bertrand, and we'll always push him to his limits (and beyond), but it's become clear that the physical limitations to his intelligence are severe. To say the least, we've come to accept that he's never going to attend college, even if he survives long enough.

Today, we made the difficult decision to close his 529 account, and to redirect that money to his therapy and medical expenses instead. We're leaving his ESA open, since that isn't necessarily tied to him; it could still be used for siblings or others.

All that said, if Bertrand is half the stubborn Casanova his mother is, he will take delight in one day proving our decision to close the 529 account spectacularly wrong. (And, I hope he does!)


  1. Matt, I'm having that same kind of day. After Hannah's visit today and learning we have more symptoms coming to the surface, I've spent the day dealing with a reality check. It sucks.

    Our kids are stronger, stronger than the doctors ever expected. But reality is reality, and we as parents have to deal with it, I guess.


  2. He wil prove of all us wrong!!! I know he will.
    My love for all of you,